


Keeping Up Appearances

by Ripley95



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Post-Canon, Romantic Fluff, Tropes, let's pretend trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 15:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16411418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ripley95/pseuds/Ripley95
Summary: Hackett and Shepard agree to attend an Alliance function, pretending to be together, leading to admissions of deeper feelings for one another.





	Keeping Up Appearances

**Author's Note:**

> Fake SO tropes are one of my favourites. I’ve been wanting to write one for a while, so here it is. I know this trope isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, so you’ve been warned.

The view of Vancouver was astounding. Admiral Jane Shepard was currently looking out over English Bay from her pristine, new office. Admiral. That was new. Something that she would have to get used to, just as much as the office. Something else for which she was entirely unaccustomed to, being confined and grounded. Somewhere permanent. Sure in a sense, being on a ship was confining in its own right, but at least out there she was going places. She could see the changes and progress she was fighting so hard for.

This on the other hand, would take some getting used to. Learning how to see that same progress through figures and numbers on graphs and charts would take time. It almost felt unfulfilling, but she figured someone had to do it. She had already run herself ragged over her short career by pushing herself too hard for causes nobody believed in. This could be a welcomed change if she let it be. Maybe she would be more open-minded than some of her predecessors.

She had never intended on being a soldier forever anyway, and there were only three ways out of that job. Maybe four, but she never would have entertained the idea of leaving the Alliance of her own volition. She liked to think that this was the best way. A promotion… or three in her case, surprisingly. Though the way she figured it, she had earned it three times over by now anyway, so maybe it shouldn’t have been all that surprising. It was better than being taken off of active duty, that was for sure. She didn’t even want to entertain the idea of the only other way out of it. She had already left too many people behind to grieve that way once before. She was lucky to have been given this chance again. For someone to have come back from the dead once was a miracle. Twice was insanity. She had questioned on more than one occasion if she had actually died and was just stuck in some kind of purgatory. Gods know she had done enough horrible things to have warranted it. She knew better than that, though. The truth was that she was alive and well, and would just have her own demons to overcome, and a new life to get accustomed to. Things could have been a lot worse. Overall she was grateful.

It had been six months since the end of the war now, and Vancouver was recovering more quickly than she ever could have hoped. To witness the resolve of her people was something that kept her going when she had to remind herself why she had stayed on Earth. The idea of helping put it back together was novel. She preferred to be responsible for fixing things, rather than destroying them. Being here with these people, doing just that, was something worthy of having to get used to.

Even though this position was somewhat unexpected, her entire career had been training for reaching the top anyway. However, being thrust into it so quickly at the end had left her floundering slightly, trying to catch up to everyone else who had earned it in a more conventional time frame, but she trusted that she would get there too.

She was currently stricken with admiration of the workers across the water rebuilding the city, that she had totally forgotten her guest that had just entered her office until someone cleared their throat from behind her.

“Admiral? Have you finished with those reports?”

“Ah, yes. Sorry, Javik. This view can be distracting,” she said as he walked up to join her.

She looked over at him, admiring the view now as well. She was glad that he was still here, having found new purpose. She wouldn’t easily forget him saying he would join his people should they be successful in the war. She was glad that he hadn’t listened to himself.

Obviously he was old enough to take care of himself, but in a way he had become the galaxy’s orphan. Each of the council races trying to take responsibility for him. They had all offered him a place to go, but he had chosen to join the Alliance. It was different to have a non-human as a member, but he was now the only one left of his kind, granting him special privileges. Having all of the options open to him, it was easy for him to choose to follow Jane. She had shown him a kindness that he sometimes felt he hadn’t deserved. She was a strong leader, and he admired her talents.

Not to mention that he wouldn’t need to explain anything to her. All of these primitives were too loud and asked too many questions. Jane was satisfied with their relationship and the knowledge of his existence. He liked that she didn’t feel the need to prod. He respected her, and couldn’t see himself willingly following anyone else’s orders, as they were all beneath him. The choice had been an easy one to stay. Just being around her, watching her work, helped to quell the voices of his ancestors calling him to join them.

“It is a sight to behold,” he said, looking out the window intensely as Jane nodded in agreement. “Perhaps your people are not so primitive as I once thought. You are the ones who made it here, after all.”

Jane just smiled quietly at the thought. She was glad that he was at least coming to terms with his new reality. She turned around to grab the datapads on her desk.

“Here are those reports you asked for,” she said, handing them to him.

“Thank you, Admiral,” he replied, just as there was a knock at the door.

“Come in,” Jane called out.

Hackett entered her office, noticing her guest immediately.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” he said, nodding politely in Javik’s direction.

“Not at all, Admiral. We were almost done here anyway. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He cleared his throat, looking between her and Javik before deciding to just be out with it.

“I was actually wondering if I could ask you a favour?”

“I suppose that depends on what it is.”

“Right. Of course. I’m sure you’re aware of the Alliance gala happening this weekend?”

“Yes,” she answered, hesitantly.

“I was wondering if you’d be willing to come as my date? Every single year that I go, I get endless questions about why I haven’t settled down, and I simply detest having to talk about my personal life. Having you at my side would help silence the curiosity for once. That is, if you’re willing to join me.”

Jane just huffed out a sigh. In a way, she was almost flattered that he would think of her, but she really hadn’t been fond of the idea of going at all.

“I don’t know, Hackett--”

“Please, call me Steven.”

“Alright… Steven.”

“We could go just as colleagues. Hopefully just being seen together will be enough for people to stop asking.”

She just looked at him for a moment before continuing. “I don’t know. I really wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go at all, to be honest.”

“You would miss your first gala?”

“I was considering it. It really isn’t my style.”

“Maybe not, but you do realise that these are somewhat of an obligation as an Admiral, don’t you?”

“Yes, but when have I ever been one to follow other people’s expectations of me?” she said with a wry grin.

“Of course. I guess I should have expected as much,” he said with a small laugh. “Can you at least tell me you’ll think about it? You would make the evening much more tolerable for me.”

She paused for another moment of consideration. She really hadn’t wanted to go, and didn’t want to make promises, but she figured she could at least offer him that much.

“Alright. I’ll think about it.”

“Great,” he said as he looked over to Javik now. “It was good to see you, Javik. Talk some sense into her for me, will you?” he said as he shook the prothean's hand.

Javik looked down at the action under scrutiny, and then met his eyes once again. “I think the Admiral has enough sense to decide for herself what she would like to do.”

“Of course she does. It was a joke, Javik. Mostly directed at her, even though I was technically addressing you.”

“I will never understand you primitives,” he said, relinquishing his hand but not his stare.

Hackett was not one to be intimidated easily, but there was something off-putting about Javik’s demeanor that made his skin crawl. Jane just smiled at him sympathetically, already knowing full well the awkwardness that Javik was capable of creating.

“Right. Well I think that’s my cue. I’ll be in touch, Jane.”

She just nodded at him with a smile as he turned to leave. They both watched the door shut behind him.

“I think you should accept his offer,” Javik said, turning back to Jane now.

“You do? It certainly didn’t sound like you supported the idea a minute ago.”

Javik just shook his head, with as much of a smile on his face as Jane had ever seen. (It still wasn’t much of one).

“You humans will never understand our sense of humour. I was well aware of the fact that he was making light of the situation. He is more simple to read than he lets on,” he said with a small laugh. “I find myself taking pleasure in the small things these days, such as manipulating your leadership. It is easier to make him flounder than he thinks.”

Jane let out a real and honest-to-god laugh at that. It was definitely hard to read Javik sometimes, but she was happy to know that he was finding enjoyment in something, though manipulation of Alliance Admirals may have seemed a tad extreme.

“Should I be worried about you toying with the higher-ups? You’re not about to commit treason are you?” she managed to get out through her laugh.

“Hardly. If you have forgotten, I have no army with which to rebel,” he deadpanned.

“Right,” she said with a hesitant smile.

“I meant what I said to you, though. I think you should join him.”

Her look turned into something more quizzical.

“I thought you said I had enough sense to decide for myself?”

“I did. And I meant it. That does not change the fact that I think it would be good for you.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll take that under advisement. Thank you, Javik.”

“Of course. I will take my leave now,” he said as he exited her office.

Jane just stared at the doors after he left, not entirely sure what he was trying to get at. Maybe he had a point though. She hadn’t really allowed herself much time to fully realise what had been so hard about adjusting to her new position. If she really thought about it though, she would often realise that she had been more lonely than she would have expected. Being on ships most of her life hadn’t allowed for much time to be by herself, and the quiet nights were harder on her than she’d like to admit.

She didn’t particularly care for the dressing up or the show she would be required to put on, but maybe it would be nice to be out and around other people. Some of them would even be her friends.

She was technically _supposed_ to attend after all. Maybe Hackett could help her too. Part of the reason she was dreading going was having to put up with the hero worship. He could be a perfect excuse not to linger with people wanting to talk about things that to her, were only reminders of her mistakes.

That was enough for her to have made up her mind on the matter. She brought up her omni-tool and put in Admiral Hackett’s contact information.

“Jane?” he almost answered immediately.

“I’ll go with you,” she stated simply.

“You will? That was fast. What changed your mind?”

“I guess I just figured that it might be better to not be pissing off the other admirals so early in my joining their ranks. I can’t very well be the only one not to attend, now can I? Besides, I think I’ve figured out that we can be mutually beneficial for each other.”

“Oh? And how’s that?”

“I’ll admit that the reason I didn’t want to go is that I’m already sick of hearing everyone trying to thank me for saving them. It’s going to be about ten times as bad when it’s coming from the rich people who barely saw any evidence of what this war was really even like. They’re going to be so detached and snooty, and I’m not sure if I can handle that. I’m hoping that when that happens, you’ll be around to politely redirect us. Not that I’m not capable, but I don’t exactly trust myself to keep my composure, and I’d hate to end up on one of al-Jilani’s smear campaigns with me yelling at some dignitary.”

“I think I can do that. Thank you, Jane. You’ve made the prospect of suffering through another one of these bearable. I’ll pick you up at your apartment on Saturday.”

“Oh, you don’t have to put yourself out.”

“Not at all. You’re on the way, anyway. Plus, it’ll be better for appearances.”

“Right. Okay. I guess I’ll see you then.”

“Perfect. Goodbye, Jane.”

“Bye,” she said, disconnecting the call.

She had expected to feel good about this. It was something off of her list of things to worry about. Something to make the night more bearable for her just as much as it would be for him.

Instead, it seemed to leave her feeling something that was harder to put her finger on than it would be for most people. It finally registered that she was nervous. That wasn’t something she was used to feeling. Come to think of it, the last time she felt that way was just before the final push during the war. How on Earth were the two situations even comparable?

She had quickly realised that it was probably her lack of experience in the dating department as of late. The last time she had even pursued a man was Kaidan. That hadn’t exactly ended well for either of them, he having been left on Virmire, and she being left with a gaping wound of guilt and dread.

That was nearly four years ago at this point. Sure, two of which she may have been dead herself, and at least some of the time that she was alive had been needed to help her move on, but that had still left plenty of time for her to be about as fine as any other soldier. She still had needs, but they hadn’t been easily met with the choices presented to her.

There had been a few members from her crew that had shown interest. That had already been too messy for her once before though. She wasn’t willing to go down that path again. Don’t shit where you eat and all that. It was a saying that existed for a reason, and consequences of dating her underlings seemed to be perfect justification.

Her fame hadn’t made things easy either. Every guy that had even potentially showed any ounce of promise had always ended up either being some kind of creepy stalker, or just wanted to add a high profile notch to their bedpost. She wasn’t interested in playing games, or being with people who had some kind of complex.

Instead, she had confined herself to the solitude of her quarters, satiating her needs by herself with the help of her imagination far longer than she cared to even think about at this point.

But even still, why was she so nervous all of the sudden? This shouldn’t be a big deal. They were going as colleagues. Hackett had even said it himself.

Being honest with herself wasn’t always one of her strong suits, but she vaguely let the memories slip of the few times that Admiral Hackett may have adorned her rotation of fantasies during her lonely nights, intensifying the butterflies currently fluttering in her stomach. If she was being _really_ honest with herself, it was definitely more than a few times. But being truthful right now was stupid, and only making it worse. She decided that lying to herself was definitely the easier option.

Who was she kidding, anyway? Hackett had just been an easy choice at the time. Someone familiar enough to think about, but distant enough to not be a complete distraction. She had been lonely all those times on the _Normandy ,_ and he had been in regular contact with her throughout the war. She was sure it had just been for the sake of convenience.

It hadn’t helped that he had always been in his blues. Dress blues were sexy. Especially on him. There was more than one reason she had gone into the military after all, and one of the notably more stupid reasons for choosing a career, where her life would be put on the line mind you, was so she could have plenty of eye candy to distract her from the hard times and… oops. There she went again, her brain leading her down the road of picturing herself slowly peeling off said clothing. Maybe lying to herself wasn’t the easier option.

But it was still just a fantasy, wasn’t it? At any rate, it didn’t really matter. Being Fleet Admiral meant that he was still technically her superior and probably not a good idea. She had to remind herself that he had even said that they were going as colleagues. That would have to be the end of the story.

She suddenly realised that this was going to be one very long week, especially if the feeling in the pit of her stomach wasn’t going to go away.

\---

The night had finally arrived. The butterflies had at least been tolerable for most of the week, but that’s because she had plenty of work to keep her distracted. They had come back in full force now that she was getting ready.

She was glad that her mother had forced her into getting a ball gown the minute they heard of her impending promotion. Jane had showed her the dress that Kasumi had gotten her all those years ago, hoping that it would be enough. Hannah had just stared at Jane, wondering if she had really been serious. Hannah wasn’t surprised to find that she had been, which prompted them to go shopping immediately. Kasumi’s dress was nice, and still looked good on her, but it wasn’t exactly the most appropriate thing for the setting.

Everyone going would be expected to adhere to the fancy dress code. Even the men were expected to wear tuxes instead of their uniforms. What a shame. It was all just another facet of the job she would have to get used to though. Dressing up and schmoozing the people helping to fund their cause. She knew how to be diplomatic when she had to be, but it had seemed less annoying when it wasn’t about impressing people for their money.

She had just finished putting on her makeup and was about to put on her dress when she heard her door chime. She opened up her omni-tool to see who it was, entirely not surprised to find her date for the evening standing at the door.

“Hi, Steven. I’m just finishing getting ready. Why don’t you come inside and make yourself comfortable. Don’t worry, I won’t be long.”

“That sounds fine to me, Jane. No rush. I can be a patient man under the right circumstances.”

“Alright,” she said as she unlocked her front door from her tool.

Her apartment was on the smaller side, so she could easily hear Hackett coming in, and took that as her cue to hurry up. She had saved putting the dress on for the very last second, still baffled at how people were able to go to the bathroom in these things. She was suddenly thankful that her bladder was well practiced from a lifetime of missions where trips to the restroom simply weren’t an option.

She had to admit, the dress was nice. Her mother had a good eye for this and she certainly seemed to know her tastes well. It was about as simple as it possibly could have been while still being elegant. It was a black, floor-length, v-neck chiffon gown. As she put it on and admired herself in the mirror for a moment, she couldn’t help but think it was the perfect choice. It wasn’t too flashy to the point that she would stand out, but it looked nice. She looked nice. She actually felt sexy for the first time in years. Too bad it was being put to waste.

She would need help with the last step, but she was about as done as she’d ever be, so she decided to finally greet the man patiently waiting for her in her living room.

As he heard footsteps coming from her small hallway, he quickly stood to greet his date, and seemed to stop dead in his tracks after getting a good look at her.

“My word. Jane, you look beautiful,” he said, in that gruff voice that was doing nothing to help silence the butterflies.

“Thank you. You clean up well yourself,” she managed to get out without sounding flustered. She would have to learn to appreciate the small miracles. It wasn’t a lie either though. He looked good in a tux. Maybe it wouldn’t be such an unfortunate dress code after all.

“Thanks,” he said while moving his hands from behind his back where they had been placed easily from his years of standing in a well-practiced parade rest, entirely forgetting what he had brought for her. “Oh, that’s right. I almost forgot, I brought you this,” he said, handing her a single rose.

“A flower?” she questioned. This was typically a romantic gesture. Had she gotten the wrong impression about what tonight was supposed to be? She couldn’t say that she minded the thought of it, but it had thrown her for a bit of a loop.

“Yes. My neighbour’s been growing them. She keeps saying that the world needs more beauty in it, so she’s been gardening ever since the war ended. She’ll give me a flower every now and then to brighten my day, always saying that I look too serious. She knew that I had a date tonight, and made me take it. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was just for work.”

“Oh,” she said, still somehow managing to hide her disappointment. “Well, that was sweet of her. You’ll have to thank her for me. It’s beautiful.”

“I’ll be sure to pass the message along,” he said as she nodded at the sentiment.

“I guess I should probably put this in some water or something,” she said as she was about to turn back towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water, almost forgetting about her exposed back.

“Oh, wait, could you maybe help me with this first?” she said, as she turned around. “I couldn’t reach the zipper.”

She couldn’t help but notice that it had taken him a bit longer to respond than she would have expected and turned her head to see him appreciating the fine toned muscles that were exposed under the dress.

He cleared his throat without addressing her questioning glare before finally responding. “Yes, of course,” he said, doing up the zipper more slowly than necessary.

It left Jane confused. If she didn’t know any better, she would have thought that he might have been legitimately interested, but she wasn’t going to be the one pushing things with her boss.

“Thanks,” she said when the zipper was finally pulled up all the way, and left to get the water. It only took her a minute before she returned to his side.

“Shall we, then?” he said, offering her his arm. “I know this is just a work date and all, but I still know how to be a gentleman,” he said with a smile.

Jane really didn’t know how to feel about that. She might have enjoyed the chivalrous nature of the gesture if this were real. In the end, she just didn’t want to make the situation worse than it already was, so she simply accepted his offer, linking her arm with his, while reciprocating his smile with her own.

With that, Steven ever so gallantly led them to the skycar he had waiting for them. The banquet hall wasn’t very far away, but Jane couldn’t help but think this was going to be a long car ride.

\---

The ride had proven to be rather quiet. Jane was grateful for the amazing view on the way over, providing her with a legitimate distraction. She was always rather taken with seeing the progress being made, and this was no exception with the lights twinkling off in the distance.

If she hadn’t known better, she could have sworn that she felt eyes burning holes in the back of her head, but she wasn’t willing to turn around to test that theory. She was certain she had been reading too much into the situation already.

When their trip was almost over, Hackett finally decided to cut through the deafening silence.

“You’ve been quiet. Are you alright?”

“Oh, yeah I’m fine,” she said, addressing him before turning her head back towards the window. “Just admiring the view. You know, I’ve already been here for six months now, and I keep looking out over that skyline. Somehow, it’s still as enticing as it ever was. Not to mention those six months in lockup. It was always one of my favourite times of day, getting to look out at the world. Time to contemplate, and see the beauty that the galaxy has to offer. That was a stark contrast to now of course, but still just as beautiful in its own way. Maybe even more, to see how we’ve all come together to start the healing process. Maybe I’m just not used to living planetside. How do you get over it?”

Hackett leaned over a bit to take in the same view that she was looking out at.

“It really is something, isn’t it?" He paused briefly before continuing. "Honestly, I think I’ve just been too distracted to really notice. It’s not like I’m used to being planetside either, you know. This position here is new for me too,” he said, finally moving his gaze towards her. “Maybe you shouldn’t be looking at it as something to get over.”

His last words were enough to draw her attention away from the window, and look him in the eye.

“Hold on to the things that make you feel that way, Jane. Appreciate the beauty where you can. Gods know we’ve all fought hard enough for it. You most of all.”

She was stricken by his words, and his gaze didn’t falter. He had said it in a manner that was more calm and nurturing than she was used to hearing from him. He had seemed sincere, and like there was more meaning behind what he said.

Jane was suddenly very aware of why she had felt so unsettled since she agreed to do this. Her feelings for him were more than just lust filled fantasies. Again, if she was being _really_ honest with herself, maybe it had always been more than that. Lust was easy at the time. He wasn’t right in front of her to have to address the possibility of it not being so simple all those times.

She was being far more honest with herself lately than she cared for though, and tried to squash those feelings down before they boiled over, desperately wishing she hadn’t agreed to do this. She was stuck in it now though. Surely she could ignore her feelings for one night at least. She would benefit from waiting to think about all of this when he wasn’t right there in front of her, looking at her with those piercing eyes.

Neither of them had any time to add anything as they noticed the car had stopped, their driver announcing their arrival. Hackett noticed Jane’s attempt at leaving the car, and immediately stopped her.

“No, wait. Let me,” he said, as he quickly got out of the car, walking over to her side to open her door and offer her a hand.

Jane had to hold back an eye roll. He was really laying it on thick.

“You do know that I’m perfectly capable of opening my own door, don’t you?” she asked as she accepted his hand.

“Of course. Something tells me that you rarely get to be treated this way though. You’ve done me a big favour with this, and I was intent on treating you right tonight. Please let me know if I’m overstepping,” he said, with her hand still in his.

She had to admit it was a nice sentiment. He was being polite, and trying hard. Probably too hard, but it was sweet. Not to mention that they were finally here. It probably would help appearances if he continued to act that way.

“No. It’s okay. Nice even. Just not expected.”

“Noted,” he said, offering her his arm again. “In that case, shall we?”

“We shall,” she said as she looped her arm in his once again, and they started walking towards the banquet hall.

They made their entrance rather nonchalantly, trying not to draw attention to themselves.

It hadn’t worked though. They barely got a few steps into the room before people started turning towards the entrance, staring at them silently and awkwardly.

It was more than enough for them to just stop dead in their tracks. They probably should have realised that they were both fairly high profile, and plenty of people would have found them coming together to be rather gossip-worthy.

“Well this isn’t exactly how I had expected this to go,” Hackett leaned over and whispered into Jane’s ear.

A waiter with a tray full of alcohol had walked by with perfect timing. Jane grabbed a glass and shotgunned it. She wasn’t even sure what it was, and just wished that she had managed to grab 10 more before he walked away.

Witnessing her actions made most of the crowd realise that they were staring, and the room slowly began to go back to normal, though with added looks in their direction through their whispered conversations. Fantastic.

Someone finally came up to greet them.

“Hackett, I’m so glad to see you. And with a date this year, no less.”

It was another admiral. No one that Jane knew personally, but someone that sounded to be friendly enough with Steven.

“Uh, yeah, we’re not really here as a da--,” Hackett tried to explain.

“Yeah, he finally roped me into coming to one of these. I guess it helped that I was technically required this time,” Jane spit out, surprised by it herself. “And you know, not in the middle of fighting a war or recovering or anything.” It seemed like Hackett was fine explaining the truth to people. Why had she done that? That certainly complicated things.

“So this has been going on for a while then?” the admiral asked, surprised.

“I guess you could say that,” is all she could think of to say back.

“It was good to see you too, Eric If you’ll excuse us for a moment, I think we’re going to get some drinks before we start mingling,” Hackett said.

“Oh of course. Go get settled. Maybe we’ll catch up more later.”

With that, Hackett started to lead her towards the bar, but stopped just short.

“You didn’t have to do that, Jane. I didn’t ask you to do this favour for me to put on a show.”

“Honestly, I’m not really sure what just happened. I kind of panicked, and it came out.”

He just looked at her incredulously, “You… Jane Shepard. Panicked? For that?”

“What can I say, I do much better on a battlefield than in social situations,” she said, with a sheepish grin. “I guess this is going to be a bit of a learning experience.”

In truth, it didn’t have as much to do with her panicking and more with her conflicted and confused feelings spilling out, but she wasn’t willing to say it. She was barely even willing to admit it to herself.

“Clearly,” he said, grinning right back at her. “Listen, we can go right back to him and own up to it right now if you’d prefer. If we don’t, rumours are likely to spread like wildfire. This really wasn’t my intention for tonight. I hope you can forgive me.”

How was he the one asking for forgiveness? She was the one who blurted it out. He really was a catch, wasn’t he? And somehow not taken. Was she missing something?

“No, that’s okay. It might be more fun this way anyway,” she said with a laugh.

“Well, if you’re sure. Maybe it’ll be enough to get people off my back finally,” he said with a laugh of his own. “Wait here, I’ll get us some drinks,” he said as he grabbed the glass out of her hand to bring back to the bar with him.

She stood there, glancing around the room, still seeing people giving sideways looks. She was happy to see Ashley among them, coming towards her. Jane knew she would likely give her a hard time about this, but at least she was a friendly face.

Ashley had recently been promoted to Captain, which was the lowest rank allowed to attend these types of functions. They weren’t required, but at least usually got invitations. She was suddenly very glad that Ash had decided to come.

“Hey there, Skipper. That was quite an entrance,” she said, elbowing her friend, with a big sheepish grin adorning her face. “So how long has that been going on? You’ve been holding out on me!”

“We’re not really together or anything. We just came together to try to help each other out. I was hoping to not get noticed much. I guess that was a mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I’m not really sure what you were thinking in that case,” Ashley said, laughing at her. “That’s a shame. The Admiral’s hot. Too bad.”

Jane just glared at her for a moment.

“What? You can’t deny it. If I were you I’d bring him back to your place and thank him thoroughly for ‘helping you’ tonight. Maybe you can cum together in another way,” she said, winking at her friend.

“Oh, god, Ash. Come on, he’s my boss.”

“So what? He’s not against the regs for you anymore. You’re both adults. If you’re interested, I say go for it.”

“I never said I was interested,” Jane said, still glaring at her.

“You also never said you weren’t,” Ash said teasingly.

That’s when Steven came back with three drinks in hand. Perfect timing.

“Here we go,” he said, carefully handing one to Jane. “I saw that you had a guest, so grabbed an extra glass of champagne,” he said, handing the other one to Ashley.

“Such a gentleman,” Ashley said, giving Jane a teasing look. “Thank you, sir.”

“Not at all, miss Williams. How have you been doing lately?”

“Oh, I can’t complain. The new posting’s been keeping me busy, but I think that’s likely the same case for everyone right now.”

“True enough,” he said, as they all noticed Javik walking up to them.

“Good, I’m glad to see that you listened to my advice,” Javik said, not wasting any time in greeting the group.

Hackett looked over to Jane questioningly. “What advice?”

“Javik told me I should accept your offer.”

Steven moved his quizzical look to Javik now, surprised that he would have done so given how his own conversation had gone at the time.

“Yes. Have you two finally mated and gotten it out of your system?” Javik asked, completely seriously, acting much more interested than he probably should have been, either not comprehending how that wasn’t exactly a socially acceptable question to ask, or just not caring in the least. It could have been anyone’s guess.

Jane started coughing immediately, trying not to choke on the sip of champagne she had just taken, while Ashley barked out a peal of laughter that was probably entirely inappropriate. Hackett just looked somewhat mortified at the bluntness.

“To be honest, I’m surprised you would even encourage such a thing, Javik. If I didn’t know any better, I might have thought you liked Jane yourself judging by how you acted when I asked her to join me tonight.”

“Hardly. Human sexual behaviour does not interest me. It is too one dimensional. The asari are much closer to the capabilities of my people with their ability of sharing a mind-link. They make far better lovers.”

“Right…” Hackett said, not really sure how to figure Javik out still.

“Okay, Javik, why don’t you come with me before you shove that foot in your mouth any more,” Ashley said while grabbing his arm and starting to walk away from them. “Enjoy your evening, guys,” she continued to the pair over her shoulder as they walked away.

Jane and Steven shared an awkward look before she finally cleared her throat. “Just ignore him. He likes to make situations more tense than they need to be. I think it’s one of the only things that he gets enjoyment out of these days, so I typically just let him get away with it.”

“Well, I guess that’s good to know,” he said, looking back out at the crowd again. “We really should go mingle, shouldn’t we? Are you sure you’re okay with people thinking we’re together? It might cause problems down the road.”

Jane looked back over the crowd again too, still seeing a few people glancing in their direction. “To be honest, I think it’s too late anyway. People have already seemed to make up their minds about us.”

“I suppose you might be right,” he said, somewhat resigned.

“It’s okay, let’s just take it in stride. We don’t have to be too specific about anything.”

“Alright. Well, I guess we should go get this over with then.”

Jane just nodded in agreement, as she took his arm once more. It had become somewhat natural over the evening. She had wanted to take it every time even before now, she just didn’t like the confused feelings that it produced.

They slowly started circulating around the room, talking to a few people. Some people were polite and didn’t try to pry much, while others were all too interested. They just tried to be vague about everything. Even if they had been together for real, it wasn’t anyone’s business.

Jane may have been the one to start them down the line of a fake relationship by blurting it out, but Steven was just solidifying it. Whenever they were confronted by politicians that Hackett could clearly see were bothering Shepard, he would put his arm around her waist, and rest his hand on top of her hip, sometimes grasping at her with a kind of possessiveness that was distracting. It made her wish this was real. Somehow even though it was fake, he still seemed to know her. He tried to ground her to the situation in a way she would suspect he would do for a real love interest, subtly trying to let her know that he was right there with her, not willing to leave her side when he could tell that she was uncomfortable.

She fed off of that any time they made their way around to nosey Alliance personnel. Whenever they were questioned about their relationship, she would answer kindly, but authoritatively that their personal lives didn’t concern them, while caringly holding his hand, or brushing his arm. It was almost enough to fool herself. She was almost certain that it would be believable to anyone else paying attention to them.

They had probably spent the better part of an hour circulating. It had been exhausting already, and reaffirming in that Jane really didn’t care for this aspect of her new position. At least it would only be expected of her a few times per year.

They were currently talking to some benefactor that they needed to make a good impression on. Jane didn’t even know who she was, but this woman seemed to be particularly happy to have finally met the savior of the galaxy. That was really only the first thing to set Jane off. This woman was treating the whole situation like Jane should have felt privileged to be in her presence, and like they were already best friends. Why was it that rich people with a superiority complex were always delusional? It really didn’t help that Jane just had to nod her head politely and agree to pretty much anything the woman was driveling on about.

She was complaining about everything she had lost during the war, and no, she wasn’t referring to the people that mattered to her. If it was at least something along those lines, Jane could have tried to sympathise, but no. She was referring to her investments, and personal effects that had no meaning beyond vanity or social affiliation. Jane couldn’t have cared less, but politely smiled along, biting her tongue, knowing how important these types of people were to their cause. ‘Everything in the line of duty,’ as it turns out, hadn’t been a saying left on the battlefield.

Jane had barely been listening at this point. That was, until she said something that was particularly audacious.

“... I mean really, I know you saved the galaxy and all that, but did you have to be so destructive about it? I had a gorgeous mansion in Malibu right on the coast that was utterly in shambles. Obviously I’ve had it fixed, but it was such an inconvenience trying to find workers after the war. I mean really,” she said exasperatedly.

Jane just went wide-eyed at the statement, wanting nothing more than to scream at her belligerently for her ignorance. Was she being serious? Had she not seen the endless refugee camps full of people who were now homeless? Had she not cared about the absolutely disheartening numbers of lives taken at the cost of this war? Her stupid house in Malibu was all she cared about. Really?!

Steven could see that Jane was about to blow a gasket.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt, but this has been a really long evening. Would you please excuse us for a moment while we get some fresh air?” he said, not really asking as he started to guide Jane towards the balcony.

They could both hear a quiet scoff, and fully expected it to be joined by an unimpressed eye roll. Hackett didn’t particularly care at the moment. He was having a hard enough time not wanting to yell at her himself, and this was the better option for everyone, trying to make sure the situation didn’t escalate.

He led Jane outside and brought her to the railing, away from most of the other people, allowing them some room to breathe. The direction they were facing happened to be the same way that Jane had been admiring the view on their way over. She appreciated that. She could look out at the beautiful things and remind herself why she was here. Out there were the people working hard to bring everything back. The people who appreciated life. Those were the people she cared about. They were the ones who kept her going. The ones who would be making this horrible evening worthwhile.

Hackett just stood by her silently, letting her have her moment, and possibly having a smaller one of his own, allowing themselves both time to calm down and distance themselves from the encounter.

Jane just rested her forehead in her hand, totally fed up with the night. She took in a few slow breaths to help bring her angered heart rate down. Then she looked up again and just shook her head before finally breaking the silence.

“I am so sick of trying to keep up appearances,” she said, sounding somewhat defeated.

He looked at her for a moment, contemplating what direction he wanted to take this in. He decided that he knew the sentiment far too well, and he didn’t care for holding things in anymore.

“Truth be told, I’ve been sick of keeping up appearances for a long time now, myself,” he said, looking out over the bay.

She looked over to him, calming down slightly at his words, hoping there was an underlying meaning behind them.

He took a moment before he continued. “You’ve been right in front of me for so long now, but somehow always just out of my reach. You have no idea how much I regret leaving you on the _Normandy_ at the end of the war. I chose to remain silent then because it was what was best for everyone. You didn’t need the distraction at the time." He paused in thought momentarily before continuing. "I guess it was what was best for everyone but myself that is,” he said, finally turning towards her. “Jane, what if I said that I didn’t want this to just be for show?”

She just stared at him, her mouth slightly ajar, somewhat in shock by his admission. He liked her too. All this time, probably for about as long as she had truly liked him even.

He sighed, and looked down at his feet before moving his line of sight back out towards the bay.

“Clearly I’ve crossed a line. I’m sorry, Jane. I didn’t mean to make things awkward. I mean, we still have to work together, and now this is going to change things between us. I should have just kept my mouth shut,” he said, somewhat resigned. “I should have known better than to think you would be interested.”

“No,” she said, quickly moving to grab his arm lightly to get his attention. “Steven, no. That’s not… I’m just a little surprised, to be honest. This whole time you’ve kept reiterating that this was just for work. To help make tonight easier on you. This just feels like it’s come out of left field is all.”

He finally moved his gaze to match her own.

“What if I said I’ve had feelings for you for a long time?” she asked, hopefully.

He moved to hold her hand that had been on his arm, still looking into her eyes. “I’d say that’s something we have in common. That maybe I shouldn’t have waited so long.”

Those words were enough for Jane to forget anything else that had happened that night. They brought a genuine smile to her face. One of such sincerity and euphoria that Hackett was sure he’d never seen on her even once in the time that he’d known her. He liked it. It gave him the courage to be a little more bold, moving his hand up to rest gently on the back of her neck, slowly moving down to join his lips to hers.

Jane appreciated the way it felt. Soft, yet firm. Meaningful. She hadn’t felt this way in years. It was enough to get _most_ of the butterflies in her stomach to stop and be replaced with something else entirely. Pure desire led her to be the one to deepen the kiss, moving her arms around his neck, and slowly forcing their mouths open with her tongue.

They had totally forgotten where they were until someone cleared their throat from behind them. They both stopped immediately, to see where the noise came from, Hackett hugging her to his body in surprise, Jane easily realising why. Their small moment of passion having put Steven in a potentially more embarrassing situation than their openly romantic display would have been already, with his hardness being pressed against her, doing nothing for the sudden ache between her legs.

It was Eric, the same admiral from earlier in the evening.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re happy and in love. We get it, already,” he said with a laugh. “But I figured you should know, you’ve created quite the spectacle inside. Everyone’s watching.”

The embarrassment was enough to fix Steven’s problem, allowing him to relinquish Shepard, and move to a more respectable distance.

“Right. Sorry. Now you know why I don’t bring her to these things,” he said, jokingly towards Eric, which warranted a laugh.

“Something tells me that’s going to change, though,” Jane said, looking back up at Hackett with a smile.

“Yes, I believe it is,” he said, easily getting lost in the way she was looking at him.

“Well, aren’t you two quite the item. I’ll let you go back to having your moment, I just thought you should know.”

“Thank you, Eric. I appreciate it,” Hackett replied.

They nodded towards each other, before Eric went back inside to mingle. Steven turned back towards Jane, with an apologetic look on his face this time.

“I’m sorry, that was inappropriate of me.”

“That’s alright,” Jane said with a smile, showing she really didn’t mind. “It was flattering, honestly. It was probably my fault anyway. You were just trying to kiss me. I was the one who started making out with you,” she said with a light chuckle.

Hackett laughed, and nodded in amusement. “Even so, that probably went too far.”

“It didn’t,” Jane said, reassuringly. “So, do you think we’ve put in enough face time at this thing?”

Steven just cocked an eyebrow at her questioningly.

“What? You’re not going to leave me hanging after that heartfelt admission of your feelings, and amazing kiss are you?”

He laughed quietly at that, before turning back to her. “Jane, as much as I’d like to take you back to your apartment right now, I want to take this seriously. We don’t have to rush into anything. We have time.”

“Well, good. I fully plan on taking this seriously too. I wasn’t lying earlier when I said I’ve had feelings for you for a long time. I don’t want to screw this up, but we’re both adults. We don’t need to be skirting around sex.”

“Well if you keep talking like that, we’ll have to leave.”

“Mmm, good to know,” she said with a wink.

That made Steven laugh again. “That being said, we should probably finish the night off appropriately. Especially after the show we just gave.”

“I suppose you have a point,” she said in agreement. “In that case, the faster we get this over with, the better.”

“Alright, let’s get back in there and perform our duty, shall we,” he said, while taking her hand in his this time. It wasn’t quite as gentlemanly as offering his arm, but it was more intimate and real. Jane had never been much for hand holding or being showy, but she was surprised at the amount of emotion it evoked. She figured it was probably mostly residual endorphins or something, but she still found that she liked it more than she thought she would.

They walked around and mingled a bit more. This time with a little more teasing directed towards them thanks to their earlier display. They both found that they didn’t particularly care though. They were both glowing, feeling like a weight had finally been lifted. It was like nothing could bring them off of their newfound pedestal.

That was, until they came back in contact with that benefactor from earlier, acting offended.

Jane didn’t want to let her ruin their evening that had suddenly turned much brighter since their earlier conversation. She was willing to let it go now. But Hackett wasn’t. Not anymore.

“Excuse me, ma’am. I know you seem to be offended by how we left your conversation earlier, but if I might say something,” Hackett said, addressing her as politely as possible.

She still looked like she was extremely put out by the request, but began listening.

“I know the Alliance likes to get funding from you, but I don’t exactly care about that anymore with your attitude earlier. It’s not worth it to take money from someone so ungrateful and out of touch as yourself. I think you need to take a good look in the mirror. Better yet, take a good look around you. There probably isn’t one person in this room who hasn’t lost someone important to them throughout the war. If they were somehow so lucky to have been able to avoid that, they likely lost everything else. Their livelihood. Safe shelter. Anything meaningful. And they don’t have the same resources as you to simply rebuild everything and put their life back in place while waiting impatiently and ungratefully for it to be done for them. Quite frankly, you’ve proven to be nothing but rude and overbearing this evening, and it seems to be the same thing every year with you. I’m going to formally put in a request that you not be invited to one of these functions ever again. Now, enjoy the rest of your evening,” he said, while politely leading he and Jane away from the main room.

If she didn’t have the hots for him before, she certainly would have now.

They stopped right outside the banquet hall, still being able to hear the woman huffing, utterly disgraced.

“It was getting chilly outside, let’s just wait here while I call the driver to come get us.”

“Okay,” she said, “Just so you know though, you don’t need to be fighting my battles for me.”

“Believe me, I know. You’re a strong woman, Jane. And I’m not just saying that for some need to impress you or anything. It’s one of the many things I admire about you. But I care about you, and that woman's attitude earlier was abhorrent. Part of being together is sticking up for one another, and to be quite honest, I shouldn’t have waited to put her in her place. She deserved it even before I admitted my feelings for you.”

Jane gave a quiet laugh, and nodded, genuinely thankful for the thought. He left her for a moment to go make the call where it was a little more quiet. Just then she heard Ashley from behind her. She turned to see that she and Javik were coming to probably say their goodbyes, likely with some added teasing.

“So, just pretending, huh?” she said, amused.

“Um, yeah, I suppose you’re referring to the balcony incident?”

“Uh, hell yes I am. Hot damn, you’re a lucky woman, Shepard.”

Jane just shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, it kind of just happened, but I won’t argue with that.”

“I am glad you two finally figured out that you have feelings for one another,” Javik said, almost sounding bored with the situation.

That suddenly made something dawn on Jane. “Oh my god, you read us, didn’t you?”

“Of course I did. Though, I certainly did not need to. The pheromones that fill the the room when the both of you are in it are intoxicating. Perhaps I had given your species too much credit earlier this week. You are still, very much, primitives,” he said. And if Jane didn’t know any better, it sounded like he said it with disgust.

“Ignore him, Shepard. I’m happy for you.”

“I always do,” Jane said, receiving a scoff from Javik. “And thanks, Ash.”

Ash nodded at the sentiment. “Now, go enjoy the rest of your night, Skipper. You deserve it.”

Jane could see Hackett waving her over from closer to the door, knowing that must have meant that the car was there.

“I will,” she said. But if she was being honest with herself, she was hoping it would be a lot more than just the rest of her night she’d be enjoying with him.

For the first time in a long time, she thought that perhaps being honest with herself wasn’t such a bad thing after all.


End file.
